ThePeacock.com

Paul Spurlock

Now, it came to pass that beCause I did not have any Electrickery on Angel Ridge, I could not Use an Electric Correctable Typewriter, and therefore I Searched for some Old Friend who might Help me, who turned out to be Paul Spurlock, whom I knew when I Lived in Wurtzberg, Germany, who was at that Time Living alone in Connecticut, who Invited me to come and do my Book-writing in his House. Therefore, I got on a Bus and went over there, and Trusted Michel Durham to Send my Electric Typewriter to me, which he never did, in spite of Promising to. Therefore, after Waiting in Connecticut for it, for 2 Weeks, I gave up and went back to Kentucky, and made Contact with Jerry Tucker, who Invited me to come Live in a little Wooden Cabin in Montana, not far from where he was Living with the Mennonites, in a Log House that they all Helped him to Build for 8 or 9 Children, 3 of which belonged to Sandy Tucker, while the others were Adopted.

The most Memorable Thing about that Place was when Jerry Tucker went back to Kentucky to Sell his Old Farm, and left me in Charge of his Place in Montana, at which Time I used Mike Durham's Old Van to Haul in about 20 Tons of Granite Rocks during just 2 Days, and Piled them up in a Big Pile for Building a Stone Fireplace, which Pile of Rocks was a Marvelous Thing to those Mennonites, who had been Accusing me of being Lazy. Moreover, some of those Rocks were too Big for even 3 of them to Pick Up, and they were Hardworking Men, even Lumberjacks! Therefore, when that Pile of Rocks just Suddenly Appeared there within 2 Days, as if by "Magic," they could not Believe their own Eyeballs! Well, at any rate, I stayed in that little Cabin, and wrote a Multitude of Tale Feathers, until Spring came; and then I headed out for Hawaii, via ...

Seattle

Yes, they were having a "Special" on Airplane Flights to Hawaii, at only 100$, if you can Believe it, a Week in Advance, which I Thought was a Real Bargain: beCause it would Cost that much just to Rent a Motel Room for a couple of Days! Indeed, the Airplane was at least doing a HUGE Amount of Work for me, while 2 Dirty Sheets would hardly Cost anything to Clean them. Moreover, a similar Bargain Ticket, right now, would most likely be 1,000$, or more. So, I had to spend a Week in Seattle, after getting my Plane Ticket. Therefore, I Packed my Duffle Bag to a Fruit Market, and within a Minute or 2, I Discovered 2 Young Men who were Shopping for something to Eat, who were easy to Warm up to, who Invited me to come Home with them, who had a Strange Interpretation of LOVE, which they Collected from the Bible, which was their Main Source of Inspiration. Well, as it turned out, they had about 100 Similar Converts, who were Living on a Farm in Oregon, who almost all Died from AIDS, as I Learned later on: beCause of that WRong Interpretation of LOVE, which was Disconnected from Obeying the Commandments of God. Therefore, when I Learned what had Happened to them, I was Glad that I got "Thrown Out" by them; and got on a City Bus, and went Downtown, and sat there on a Park Bench on a Sunday, until Bob Smith came along, about 30 Minutes later.

Bob Smith

Now, Bob was about 60 Years Old, and was a Retired Naval Officer, who was "a Man of God," who got up each Morning at 6 AM, like Clockwork, and sat in a Chair, Looking Out of his New Apartment Window into the Sky, and Prayed to God for an Hour; and then he would Attend to Fixing his Breakfast, or Writing his Book, since he Felt Inspired to do so, and Wrote about Mysterious Scientific Things that I could not Understand: because they were far too Intellectual for me. Moreover, he Fixed Supper each Day, and that was the one and only Small Meal that I Ate each Day, along with a Friend of his, who also showed up just before Suppertime, and also Agreed to Wash the Dishes after every Supper, which was his Contribution, while both of them Shared the Expenses of Buying the Foods that they Ate, while I was Forbidden to Help with anything: beCause I was Bob's Guest, and he was being a True Christian, being Hospitable, as the Bible Teaches, who was even Surmising that I might be one of those Angels who was in Disguise, which the Apostle Paul wrote about, saying: "Be not Forgetful to Entertain Strangers: because thereby some People have Entertained Angels, being Unaware." Hebrews 13:2. Furthermore, Bob told me about his Experience in Danville, Kentucky, which ran an Asylum for the Insane People of Kentucky, which he was taken to after being Found Hitchhiking by the Police, when he was near there. Indeed, they took him into the Prison, and Strapped him down to a Table, he said, and proceeded to give to him Shots of something, which soon Caused him to Lose his Right Mind, which Persuaded the Judge that he was Insane! Therefore, it became their "Duty" to "Rehabilitate him, if Possible," which they did by Administering more Drugs, and by Stripping Off his Clothes, Masturbating him, Beating on him, and Interrogating him for Days at a Time without any Sleep, by taking Turns with the "Rehabilitation Program," which endured for a couple of Months, until he got an Opportunity to Escape in a Laundry Truck, by Hiding in a Basket of Dirty Clothing that got Wheeled into the Truck, which went through Town, and just Happened to Stop at a Red Light, when Bob "Jumped Bail" and Ran for his Life! So, when Bob told his Experience to me, I Thought that it was Interesting that I did not get Committed to that same Nut House, which I passed by several Times, Hitchhiking; but, by the Grace of God, I Escaped. However, had I Known that Americans could do such Evil Things to Fellow Americans, I might have Considered Joining those New Nazis, just to Record their Evil Deeds for Evidence Against them, which I could have Reported to Senator Do-US-Good, in Washington! However, that "Good" American Institution, like most others of Similar Insanity, has been Shut Down, since then, anyway: because it was Discovered that the People who Invent such Institutions are more Insane than the People whom they Lock up within them! Moreover, it has been Reported that almost all of them Moved into Washington, DC, and into New Yuck City: beCause they Feel at Home there; and I Believe that Report, except for the "almost all" part of it.

Hawaii

Now, it came to pass that Bob Smith Escorted me to the Airport in his Friend's Car, and both of them saw me Off to Hawaii, being Sad to see me Leave: beCause they had some Love for my Soul, and even Believed the Bible, which was why neither of them had a TV, Radio, Newspaper, nor anything with a Picture in it, except for Money and a Driver's License, which they Justified within their Minds by Quoting that Verse about Obeying all of the Ordinances of Men, just as long as they did not Interfere with Obeying the Laws of God, one of which I Reminded them was the Second Commandment, which Bothered their Consciences Terribly. However, at that Time I did not have a Reasonable Solution for HOW all Christians could Avoid having those Pictures, by Living within Small Swangkee Fortresses, where everyone Knows everyone else.

So, I Landed on the Island of Oahu [Oo-aw-hq], in Honolulu, which is the Chief City on those Islands, and the most Popular for Vacationers, who Sunbathe on the Beaches, and do other Things during the Dark: beCause they are also in LOVE! Yes, they are more Accurately in LUST; but, who is not? Well, at any rate, I did not even bother to Look at that City: beCause I Knew that it had X-amount of Pits for me to Fall Headlong into, which I Wanted to Avoid; but, I did Manage to Fall into one Pit, right near the Airport, which was a very Special Chinese Restaurant, which must have had 2,000 or more People Lined up at the Doorway, which got my Attention: beCause they had been Patiently Waiting there for an Hour or more, and I Wondered WHY? And they said that it was the Best Food on the Island, which I had to Test for myself, which I Discovered was 100% True: beCause, when I Flew Out of there, I Looked all around for other Lines of Patient People at Restaurants, and there were none! Yes, I just got on the next Plane for the Northern most Island, called Kauai: beCause that was where the Holy Spirit was Directing me, to Mango Valley, which I did not even Know Existed until I got there that Night, and behold, there were at least a half million People Patiently Waiting in a very Long BROAD Line, 100 Abreast, for a Taste of those Sweet JUICY Mangos! Now, you Know that I am just Kidding you; but, my Point is quite Clear — there never was a Lineup of People at a Mango Tree, nor even at a Restaurant that Served Mangos, in spite of the Fact that that would be the very Place that Jesus Christ and his Disciples would be Found Eating. Yes, without Asking anyone any Questions, I ended up in the most Naturally Fruitful Place on all of the Islands. Moreover, I also just Happened to Discover ...

Roger Smith and Dangerous Dan

Who were Living in a Makeshift House not far from where I Pitched my Tent at a Park about 7 Miles from Hanalei [pronounced HON-u-LAA], at the End of the Road, where Dan and Roger often went Surfing, Snorkeling, and Fishing. Their "House" was Illegal, even though the Rich Person who Owned the Property gave to them Permission to Build whatever they Wanted to, which the Government Torn Down Periodically, and they Rebuilt it Periodically. Moreover, Roger and Dan liked to go Naked, in Order to be "Natural," and Unashamed of it; and Dan was a Real "Stud," as they say, having the Longest Ding Dong that I have ever Seen, while his Friend Doug had the Fattest one, which they liked to Display; but, not in Public, like some of the other People on the Beach. However, Roger could not get an Erection, which he told me about; and therefore, I Persuaded him to Fast with me for 3 Weeks, which he did, and after that he had no Problem getting an Erection, and even spent the next Week in a Tent with a Lustful Woman who Needed his "Love," and nothing more. Furthermore, both Roger and Dan had Marijuana Patches up in the Valley, which they Faithfully Cared for: beCause just one Plant might bring in 2,000$ or more, which made a Patch Worth maybe 100,000$ or more, Depending on its Size. In Fact, it was not Uncommon for some Grower to get his 100,000$, and leave there for the "Continent," which Allowed him to Buy or Build a Normal House, which seemed Reasonable enough, since Marijuana is far less Addictive than Tobacco, since anyone can give up the Use of Marijuana with very little Willpower. In Fact, I never saw Dan ever use it, and Roger just used it Occasionally; but, Nicotine Addicts cannot Live without it, and Especially if they are Related with Ralph Holland, who Desperately Tried to Stop it, many Times; but, was Overcome by it, over and over. Therefore, it makes one Wonder where the Heads of our Government are Stuck in that Little White Backhouse? 

3 Months of Mangos

Now, after Fasting for a Month, the Mangos began to Drop from the Trees, and I began to gather them and Eat them for the next 3 Months, and nothing else, which made me Feel Really Good; but, then the Season was Suddenly Over, and I was Stuck with only a Salad Bar at Princeville, when Roger and Dan were going there in an Old very Rusty Datsun Pickup, which did not always Start. So, after awhile, I Decided to do some more Fasting, which I did for the next 3 Months. Meanwhile, I bumped into ...

Patience Long Endures

Now, he had been a more Successful "Grower" than Roger and Dan, and actually had a New Datsun Pickup, which he used for Stealing Coconuts and Mangos: because he Discovered that if he Asked for them, he would not get any: beCause the Selfish People of Hawaii would rather have the Fruits laying on the Ground, ROTTING! Therefore, "Patience Long Endures" would get himself a Bag, and Discover a Tree to "Raid," and normally during Daylight Hours, at Noon, for Example, when Office People were Out to Lunch. Therefore, he was a Real "Survivalist" in such a Sick Society. For Example, the Bankers would Deliberately have Tree Trimmers come and Cut Off the Young Coconuts: beCause there was a Chance that a Coconut might Fall of the Head of some Customer, whereby the Bank could get Sued, even though they could have been Harvesting Young Coconuts for Selling Immature Coconut Water to their Customers, and thus made it into a Profitable and much Needed Business; but, that would not Fit into the American-Coke-Addiction Plan, and the Cold-Beer-Addiction Plan. Moreover, the same thing can be said for ALL of the Hawaiian Islands, which have thousands of Stripped Coconut Palms. Yes, "they are only for Beauty, not Practicality," as one Mayor told me. Therefore, the entire 1.5 Years that I Lived over there, I never did Discover an Immature Coconut for Sale, for Drinking Water, whereas Panama had millions of them for Sale, and so does Mexico, Venezuela, and many other Countries: beCause they are not nearly so STUPID, MINDLESS, and GREEDY. After all, the Fresh Pure Water that comes from an Immature Coconut, at just the Right Stage of Growth is the most PERFECT Water on the Earth, which comes from God's Multi-million-dollar Distillation Plant! In Fact, the Best Coconut Water comes from Swampy Areas, where the Water would not be Fit to Drink; but, the Coconut Water is Sweet and Extremely Good in Hot Climates: because it Cools the Body, much like Watermelon Juice, which can Lower a Person's Body Temperature by 10ºF, even as I said before. Therefore, you might Think that the People of the Divided States of United Lies might Wake Up, after Suffering with all Kinds of Sicknesses and Diseases, and Realize that Natural Foods and Drinks are Far Superior to Manmade Expensive Addictive Concoctions; but, behold, Americans are Extremely STUPID People for the most part; and, if not Stupid, they are very Ignorant, having almost no Idea what is Happening in this World of Woes, in spite of having Access to Trainloads of Information on the Internet and on TV.

The Conversion of Patience Long Endures

Now, it came to pass that shortly after Meeting with Patience Long Endures, that I told him that I had a Special Gift for him; but, it Required a whole Month for the Gift to Arrive in the Mail, which gave to him Sufficient Time to Work up his Curiosity concerning what that Gift might be. Nevertheless, it Finally Arrived, and I Presented it to him, which he could not Resist Reading: beCause of my Working up that "Curiosity Bone" within him. Therefore, by the Time that he got to page 110, about 3 or 4 Days later, I just Happened to Stop by his Place in Hanalei, to see how he was doing; and he Broke Down and Cried Deeply for an Hour or more, and had a Vision of himself Nailing Christ to the Cross! Therefore, that Led to a Confession of his many Sins, and a Big Change in his Life; but, not a Permanent Change by any Means: beCause there was no New Jerusalem for him to Move himself into, whereby he might Escape from the Mother / Producer of Prostitutes and Abominations that Saint John Wrote about in the Book of Revelation. In short, there was no True Church for him to Join, whereby he might have Grown in Grace and with True Knowledge, while doing Constructive Work, since he was not Lazy; but, he had no Burning Desire to make himself into a Normal Tax Slave at a Normal Slave Labor Job in some City of Confusion, and neither did I have any such Burning Desire, nor have I ever had it. In Fact, I would become a Hermit, first, rather than make a Slave of myself to some Evil Tax Slavery Empire. Therefore, he became my "Partner in Crime," and did my Proof-reading for the next 7 Years! However, before that ...

Patience Long Endures takes up Fasting

Now, shortly after Reading the Book of Mormon, Patience Long Endures moved into a Tent with me in Mango Valley, where we did some Serious Fasting for a Month or so, and Broke the Fasts on Cooked and Bottled Fruit Juices, like Prune Juice and Welches' Grape Juice, which Caused him to get Indigestion, whereby he would Burp it up and Spit it Out, much like a Baby might do who is Burping up Cow's Milk: beCause Cow's Milk was Designed for 200-pound Calves, not little 5 to 10-pound Human Babies; but, of course that Truth has Rarely Crossed the Mind of any Medical Doctor. Nevertheless, seeing that the Mango Season was long gone, we were Stuck at the Mercy of the Salvation Army, which did not have an Office over there; or one of a half dozen Gross Grocery Stores, which "Luckily" had at least some Fruit Juices to Choose from, whereas many Countries do not even have a Choice, and most of them have never Heard of Prune Juice, which is the most Laxative Fruit Juice that I Know of. However, after getting Tormented with Bottled Juices for a Month or more, Patience Long Endures came up with a New Plan: beCause he asked me if there were any Options, and I said that Soaked Prunes Worked Well, except that they had to be Refrigerated, or else they would soon Spoil. Therefore, he Remembered a little Skunk who Lived about 4 Miles away, who had a House on Stilts with a Refrigerator under it, who Volunteered to Help us. So, we put the Prunes into a Glass Jar, and set them in her Refrigerator, and asked her to please fill the Jar with Distilled Water in one Week, so that we would have Soaked Prunes to Eat when we came Out of Mango Valley 10 Days from that Present Time. So, she said that she would do it; but, when we got there 10 Days later, after going Dry for the last 4 Days, we Discovered at 4 A.M. that she had Failed to put the Water in the Bottle! So, being nearly Exhausted, just to Walk over there, we had only one Option, which was to get some of that Coconut Water from one of those Palm Trees that were within 300 Yards of her House.

Life from a Coconut

Now, it is True that there were Coconut Palms nearby; but, being as Weak as Earthworms, and being so Dehydrated, neither one of us were up to Climbing up a Coconut Tree, which is even Difficult for a Strong Person to do without Electric Pole-climber's Spurs on: beCause a Person must hold up his own Weight with his Arms and Legs, while also Climbing up the Tree, one small Amount at a Time, even though I was Pushing on him in Order to Help him up there. Moreover, there just Happened to be some Coconut Fronds laying on the Ground by a Tree, and I Used one of them to Continue Pushing Upward on Patience Long Endures' Buttocks, while he Struggled to get up the Tree, which he could not have done without my Help, and just Barely Managed to get one Nut broke loose, which I caught in my Hands when it fell, which was soon Followed by the Rickety Body of Patience Long Endures, who could not hang onto the Tree any longer. Therefore, after getting himself down from there, with the Help of that Coconut Frond, he was Ready for the Coconut Water, and Drank all of it, while I had to Help him to get up and down that Tree again, so that I could get one to Drink, myself, which almost Killed me: beCause I was already Exhausted by the First Episode, and was Ready to Fall Over, without Attempting to lift the Frond, again, let alone Push on him, again! Well, as it Happened to be, the Coconut Water had Strengthened Patience Long Endures, and he Managed to get 3 more of them, before he had to come back down for a Break, which we quickly Drank, and went Looking for another Tree, which we soon Found at about 5 A.M., and Managed to fill up a one-gallon Jar with Water, which we took back to the Skunk's House, and put into her Refrigerator for Safe Keeping, which she Naturally Discovered while we were Upstairs lying on the Floor, Attempting to Recover from it all. In Fact, both of us just Barely made it up those Steps; but, having no Idea how Close to Death that we were, she had no Mercy at all, and asked us to Leave, just as soon as Patience Long Endures Confronted her about the Missing Water in the Jar of Prunes! So, the "Good Reliable Friend" turned out to be more like an Enemy, who Seriously almost Caused our Deaths! In Fact, if Patience Long Endures had not Stolen those Coconuts, it is Doubtful that I would now be Writing this Story.

The Watermelon Flush

Now, it came to pass that we Fasted another Week, and Planned a Different Strategy, which was to go to Town, about 20 Miles from Mango Valley, and get a couple of Watermelons from a Health Food Store, to Eat, even though I already Knew from Experience that it was a very BAD Idea; but, Patience Long Endures had to Learn his Lessons for himself, while Reminding me of the Lessons that I had already Learned; but, was Unable to Practice, Thanks to that Hopeless Church of Little Faith on Suicide Avenue and Mockingbird Hill, which Pretends to Believe the Bible; but, it hardly ever Practices anything that it Teaches. Therefore, someone of the Atheist Clan had Mercy on us, and gave to us a Ride to Town, where we Bought the Watermelons and some Dry Dates, and then went back to his little Apartment in Hanalei, where we commenced to Eat the Watermelons, which were above Average Tasting. However, Watermelons do not have Enough Roughage in them to Stimulate a Bowel Movement, no matter how much you might Eat when you are so Thirsty, having had no Water nor Juice within a Week or more. Yes, we simply Absorbed it all, and had no Bowel Movements, whereby the Accumulated Filth within our Bowels might have been Flushed Out; but, it was not. Therefore, I Suggested that we should Eat some Dates with the Watermelon, which we did; but, Patience Long Endures soon Lost his Appetite, after Eating a dozen or so: beCause Dates are Super Sweet and Satisfying. Therefore, he was beginning to Bloat Up, and was even in Pain, while I was not so Tormented: beCause my Bowels were Cleaner: beCause of doing much Fasting since I had gotten there, and long before I ever Arrived: beCause of Fasting on Angel Ridge, whereby I had Fasted for 314 Days within 14 Months, and was so Strong after that, that I easily Picked Up a large Limestone Rock, as if it were just a little Brick. In Fact, that Limestone Rock is still laying there, as far as I know, and it is about 6 inches thick and 30 inches square. Moreover, Pray that whomever Attempts to Steal it, and Touches it without my Permission, will be CURSED! Therefore, leave it Rest. However, you have my Permission to make a Flower Bed around it, and Post a Sign on it, telling about it and my Fasting and Praying. Therefore, beCause of Eating more Dates than Patience Long Endures had Eaten, I got a Bowel Movement first, and somewhat Recovered from it; but, I was certainly not Feeling my Best by any Means, while he was Really Tormented, and much Worse than when he had been Drinking the Prune Juice and Grape Juice, even as Poisonous as it was: beCause it at least went on through! 

The Peanut Butter Diet

Now, Patience Long Endures had Witnessed other "Fasting Victims," and the "Sins of Vegetarians," who had Lived in other Valleys on the North Coast of Kauai, who were Seeking Freedom from the Great Society and the Multitude of Lies that Americans are Taught as "Gospel Truths," such as the Need for a Balanced Diet of Dried Cow's Puss, called American Cheese, plus Bread, Meat, Eggs, Beans, and Greens, plus Fresh Fruits, Juices, and other Insipid Non-organic and Orgimmick Vegetables. For Example, there was the Young Man who went to a Health Food Store in Town, and Ordered for himself a 50-pound Tin Container of Crunchy Peanut Butter: beCause it could be Stored for a long Time without Refrigeration, just as long as the Lid was kept on it. Well, beCause of Living in one of those Valleys, which was only Connected to the Outside World by Means of a very Dangerous Mountain Trail along the Edges of Cliffs, he Ordered the Tin Can Delivered by Means of a Motorboat, which could get near to the Shore under Ideal Weather Conditions, if the Ocean Waves were not too High and Ferocious. So, as it Happened, the Motorboat Arrived on Time, about a Week later, and the Young Man from North Dakota was Patiently Waiting for it; but, the Boat could not get itself Beached. Therefore, they Decided to THROW the 50-pound Can onto the Beach Sand, which might have Worked, IF it had Landed where it should have; but, as it Happened, it Struck a Rock in the Sand, and that Burst the Can Open, Spilling the Peanut Oil that had arisen to the Top of the Can, as Natural Peanut Butter does. So, Knowing that it is the OIL that Preserves the Peanut Butter, the Young Man Decided to EAT as much of that Peanut Butter as Possible, before it Spoiled! Yes, it was Rescue 911 in Reverse: beCause it nearly Killed him! Indeed, the more of it that he Ate, the more it Constipated him and Tormented him: beCause of not having any Bowel Movements, which Caused him to be Hungry for some Fruits or at least some Juice to Drink, which might have Flushed Out his Bowels, or at least Helped to Flush them Out. Well, at any rate, to make a Long Story Shorter, his Stomach got Bigger and Bigger, until he was Ready to BURST, when it Crossed his Mind that he had to get DESPERATE, and STOP Eating: beCause he was Unable to Escape from the Valley that he was Trapped in: beCause it had come a lot of Rain, and the Slippery Muddy Trail along the Cliff was far too Dangerous to Risk an Adventure over it. Therefore, he just stayed in his Tent, and Wished to Die; but, a Month later the Peanut Butter had Slowly but Surely Worked its Way Out: beCause he did Manage to Drink Water during that Time. However, there was another Person who was not so "Lucky," called ...

Deer Foot

Now, Deer Foot was so Named beCause of being so Light on his Feet, who could Run like a Deer, who came to that Island with all Good Intentions to Cleanse himself from ALL Filthiness of the Flesh; but, not of the Spirit. (See: Second Corinthians 7:1.) Indeed, he had Learned much about Health from Professor Arnold Ehret; but, he did not Accept Arnold's Good Advice, and do his Fasting under the Snoopervision of someone with lots of Experience: beCause Deer Foot Judged that he was Above Average Intelligence, and Knew what was Best for himself: beCause he was "Self-educated." Well, at any rate, he Decided to go on a Lemon Diet: because there was a large Ever-bearing Lemon Tree not too far from Hanalei. Therefore, when the Mangos ran Out, and there was nothing else to Eat, Deer Foot would Walk or Run to that Lemon Tree, and Feast on those Free Lemons. Therefore, within a few Months, all of his Teeth simply Fell Out! Therefore, Deer Foot Concluded that his Teeth must be Part of the Filthiness within him that Needed to be Cleansed. Yes, he had Great Faith in his Beliefs, in spite of the Fact that his Beliefs were simply WRong: beCause of Misunderstanding the Teachings of Arnold Ehret, who had Great Success with Fasting, and never Lost even one Young Person, even though it could Happen: beCause Fasting is a Dangerous Thing if it is not done Correctly, and Especially if it is not Broken Correctly.

Well, at any rate, Deer Foot Persisted in his Pursuit of Self-inflicted Torment, until his Hair and Fingernails also Fell Off, and Boils began to Break Out on his Body: beCause of Stirring up too much Filth, which did not get Eliminated from his Bowels, as Lucy had done, whom I told about in another Previous Chapter. So, Deer Foot Died from his Madness, and Forever Disgraced Fasting in the State of Hawaii. Indeed, after that, whenever the Government Discovered anyone who was Attempting to Fast, they Forcefully Captured them and Imprison them and Intravenously Fed them, or else put Tubes up their Noses, and thus Fed them Liquids. Yes, it has Happened more than once on those Islands, and will probably Happen again: beCause Medicinemen are about as Knowledgeable as Poisonous Snakes. Therefore, Fasting Patients who Learn about such Cruelties, must Hide themselves somewhere, and Hope that they are not Discovered nor Betrayed by "Good Reliable Friends" like that Skunk that I Mentioned, who would have no Doubt Called the Police, if we had stuck around her very long.

Victor Baker

Now, Victor had been Staying with that Skunk; but, as soon as he seen me, who was Riding in a Car, which Stopped near her House, Victor Decided to Move into our Tent with me and Patience Long Endures, which he did within a Week, just after Patience Long Endures and I had gone to Town and got something to Eat at a Health Food Store, namely some Good Dates and Avocados, which we Ate on the Way Home, Thinking that it would Sustain us until the next Week, which it did. However, the Combination of Sweet Dates with Oily Avocados within Empty Stomachs was a Proper Mixture for Producing Massive Amounts of very FOUL GASES, like Sulfur! I Mean that one could hardly Invent more Odious Gasses! In Fact, if Victor Baker had not had the Patience and Love of a Saint, that would have been the End of that Friendship, in Short Order. But, "Love Covers a Multitude of Dietary Sins," as the Apostle James Suggested. However, when we had to Fart, we at least Attempted to Aim the Gasses Out of the Screen on the 5-Man Tent, which was Semi-Successful; but, Literally very Em-bare-assing, if you Know what I Mean. Nevertheless, Victor Managed to Fast with us for the next Week, and then Patience Long Endures Decided that we should all go to Angel Ridge to Live, since I had Planted more than 300 Fruit Trees, Berry Bushes, and Grapevines, which, of course, had long ago Grown up Head-high with Blackberry Briars and Weeds: beCause everything Grows very Well on Angel Ridge! Moreover, Patience Long Endures had never Seen a Real Wild Jungle, before that. Therefore, when he got there, and Discovered that there was no Running Water, no Electrickery, and not even a "Decent House," he was Ready to Abandon Ship; but, not until he Killed me for it, as if it was my Fault that he Misinterpreted what I had Told him; or, rather, what I had NOT Told him. After all, if I had Painted a Real Picture for him to Think about, he would have never left Hawaii, where he might Steal Fruits to Eat, which was Contrary to my Nature, which is why I made such a Desperate Effort to Grow my own Fruits, and had Mowed Off that Hillside with Hand Sheers for 7 Years, and had not Harvested more than a few Apples, Grapes and Blueberries! Indeed, I was Fasting when the Plums came on, and therefore a Neighbor got those to Eat, and the next Year the Fruits of the Plum Trees were all Brown Rotted: "beCause I was not Fasting," I told myself. Furthermore, when the Grapes came on Heavy for the First and only Time, Ora and Freeman Monday just Happened to Show up with some Buckets, and Harvested almost all of them, for FREE! After all, how could I Sell Grapes to the People who had done so many Favors for me?

Los Angeles, Californicate

Now, it came to pass that Patience Long Endures, Victor Baker, and myself Landed in Los Angeles, and went to a Normal Grocery Store, Hoping to Discover some Good Fresh Fruits to Eat, in Order to Break our Fast of one Week; but, behold, the only Ripe Fruit that we could Find that Looked Appetizing was 3 Honeydew Melons, which we Ate, and were Thoroughly Poisoned. In Fact, Victor was so Poisoned that he had to lie down on a Park Bench, just to Recover, and he was only 22 Years Old, while Patience Long Endures was about 24, who also nearly Died from the Poisonous Honeydew Melon that he Ate, whereas I was only Miserable; but, I could still sit up and Listen to their Moanings and Groanings. Well, at any rate, Poor Victor Decided that he had best use his Round-trip Ticket from Los Angeles to get back to Hawaii, before he got himself Buried in Californicate. After all, Hawaii did have Good Avocados to Eat, as well as Bananas, Papayas, Pineapples, and Mangos in Season. Therefore, we Lost him, and have never Heard from him since then. So, I just have to Remember him as a Quiet Patient Lovable little Brother, who was probably better off Living in Hawaii, except that the Island of Kauai was Famous for Murdering "Mainlanders." Yes, the Island, itself, was Killing them: beCause no Hawaiians were ever Discovered in the Acts of their Murders! For Example, while I was there, a Beautiful Blonde Girl was Murdered on the Beach, and no one got Arrested for it: beCause there was no Evidence. Moreover, some Hawaiians Spit in my Face as they pulled up their Car and asked if I needed a Ride, while some others Attempted to Run Over Doug while he was Riding his Bicycle on the Narrow Road from Hanalei to the End of the Road: because they were Mean People who Hated Americans for Ruining their Islands. Therefore, it was a Dangerous Place to Live: beCause of Overcrowding on a Small Island.

Cliff Hanger

Now, Patience Long Endures had a Special Story to tell about spending a whole Night Hanging onto a Cliff, overlooking one of those Eroded Ravines on the North Side of Kauai: beCause he had been Climbing up on one of those Cliffs, late in the Day, and Reached up to get a Hold of a Clump of Grass near the Top of the Cliff, and it Pulled Out and he SLIPPED, and Slid Down a hundred feet or so, and Landed his Crotch on a Small Scrubby Tree that just Happened to be there, being the one and only Tree on the entire Cliff, which Overlooked a Ravine some 400 feet Deep below it! In other Words, if that little Tree had not been there, or if it had not Held Tightly to the Cliff, or if he had not just Landed on it as he did, he would most likely not have Lived to tell about it! Nevertheless, by the next Morning, he was Wishing to God that he had NOT Lived to tell about it: beCause of having to Spend the entire Night in that Particular Position, which was not exactly like the Accommodations at the Ritz Hotel in Honolulu! Indeed, it was a Night to be Long Remembered; and therefore, when I Heard the Story, I called him: Patience Long Endures, which was especially Appropriate for him: beCause he was about the single most Impatient Person who ever Lived, who could Explode without any Warning, Depending on any Number of Unknown Factors, one or the other of which would Creep Out of him, almost Daily: beCause he had had a Brain Concussion from a Bicycle Accident when he was a Boy. Moreover, he had Mercury Fillings in his Teeth, which no doubt brought about Bouts of Insanity, thanks to the Wicked Anti-Christ False Cover-up Federal Government, which Fails to Understand that most European Nations Outlawed the Use of Mercury in Fillings some 60 Years Ago: beCause they Discovered how BAD such Mercury is, and how the Worst Place to Store it is within People's Mouths! Well, at any rate, Patience Long Endures Rescued himself the next Morning, by Carefully and Patiently Climbing up that same Slippery Cliff, until he could Pull himself Out of there: beCause there were no other Options, since he was the only Person in that Valley! Therefore, Screaming for Help was no Solution at all, nor was it Desirable to Remain there another Day, while Waiting for some Lone Scout or Park Ranger to Discover him, who might Appear once a Month or so. Moreover, after that Cliff Hanging Experiment, there were 2 Brothers Climbing around on those Cliffs, and they both Slipped and Fell to the Bottom, and one got Killed on Impact, while the other was Rescued by a Helicopter, which got the Young Man in their Basket, and was about a thousand feet up in the Air when the Basket came Loose, and the other Brother was Instantly Killed! Therefore, you could say that they were both Doomed for their Foolishness, and nothing could Rescue them, except for some Angel from Heaven.

Back to Angel Ridge

Now, after leaving Lost Angels, Californicate, I Landed in Lexington, Kentucky, while Patience Long Endures Landed in Newark, New Jersey, and went Home with his Heavy Stainless Steel Norwalk Juicing Machine, which he brought with him from Hawaii, which he often used for making Carrot Juice. In Fact, he and I Lived for more than a Year on a Gallon of Carrot Juice, each, per Day, one Time, and never again. Indeed, it Proved to be a Starvation Diet, which might be Good for 40 Days; but, no more. Likewise, I would say the same for any Juice Diet, which I will Discuss later on, when we Return to Hawaii.

The Fireplace

Now, while I was alone on Angel Ridge, Waiting for Patience Long Endures to get there, I had Time to Build a Brick Chimney on the Inside of my Concrete Block Box, which Chimney Rested on a Heavy 1/2-inch-thick Sheet of Steel, which Rested on Firebricks in the Corners, which had a Steel Door on the Side of it, and a Tempered Glass Window on the Front of it: so that I could Watch the Fire Burning. Moreover, that Tempered Glass Cost me a lot of Money, in spite of the Fact that the Glass Company made the "Mistake" of Ordering one Sheet, instead of 2; but, the People who made the Glass Goofed up, and did not get it Measured just Right; and therefore, they sent the Correct Glass as well as the "Defective" Piece. Therefore, I had 2 Sheets of it; but, Patience Long Endures did not Know it. So, when he got there with his Norwalk Juicing Machine, and Saw the Actual Circumstances that we were in, without any Electrickery, he was in one of those Explosive Moods most of the Time. Nevertheless, I "Comforted" him by Reminding him that he did not have a Better House for us to move into, and my "House" was at least Paid for; and the Taxes were only $6.66 per Year, not to Mention all of those Fruit Trees that he did not have to Plant and Care for, for 7 Years, before he Arrived there with all of his Criticisms, Mockery, Cursing, and whatever! Therefore, he Decided to make the Best of it, and we commenced to begin Fasting again: beCause there was nothing else to do! Yes, Winter was coming on, and we were Stuck with Food Stamps.

Now, I had Finished Building that Brick Chimney around Ceramic Chimney Tiles, all of the way up to the 14-feet-tall Ceiling, without leaving any Space between the Bricks and the Tiles, and just Trusted it to Work Right, even though no such Chimney would ever Work Right: beCause it would just Normally CRACK and Break Apart, and maybe even Collapse: beCause the Heat within the Ceramic Tiles would EXPAND the Chimney! However, it was a Blest Chimney, which never Cracked anywhere! Well, at any rate, a Week after getting it Finished, Patience Long Endures showed up, and a Cold Wind came, and it was Time for Lighting a Pleasant Fire, which I did once a Week after that, for that Winter: beCause that one Fire just Happened to keep the Box Warm and Cozy: beCause it was Insulated with Sawdust all around it. So, we both got a Chance to Fast; but, there was no Fresh Fruit Juices, nor Coconut Water, for Breaking the Fasts. So, after Patience Long Endures Drank one of those Bottles of Welches' Grape Juice, he was Burping up Acids, again, which Caused him to Explode, again, Naturally, only this Time it was a Repeat of what he had done in Hawaii, at which Time he took a Full Bottle of that Juice in his Right Hand, and Threw it with all of his Might at the Base of a big Mango Tree; and behold, it did not Break the Glass Bottle! So, that set him Back by several Degrees on the Richter Scale, you might say, and Lowered his Temperature by at least 20 Degrees Fahrenheit! However, this Time, he Threw another Full Bottle through the Tempered Glass Door on the Fireplace, when there was no Fire in it; and I pulled out the Unbroken Bottle, and Explained to him how that it was not the Fault of the Juice, itself, which Caused his Indigestion; but, it was his own Malfunctioning Body: beCause I had been Drinking it for many Years without any such Bad Effects! However, it is Good to Follow up with some Fresh Juice of any Appropriate Kind, after Drinking Prune Juice and Grape Juice: beCause that will Replace some of the Necessary Enzymes within your Digestive System; but, if there is nothing else to Drink, except that Cooked Juice, what can a Person do? 

Now, you could say, "O Peacock, why put yourselves into such Bad Circumstances, when you could simply go to the Sawmill and get yourselves Jobs, and Save up your Money until you could undertake a Proper Fast at the Ritz Hotel?" Well, in the Process of Doing that, neither one of us would have ever undertaken even ONE Fast: beCause the "Conditions" would have never been "Right." Indeed, it is somewhat like Patiently Waiting for just the Exact Right Wife to Marry, who is never Exactly what you might Want for a Wife; and therefore, like me, you never get Married. In Fact, if you Wait for just the Right Conditions for Fasting, you will probably Give Up after just a Day or 2: beCause of Discovering that you are Uncomfortable! After all, if Fasting were so Easy, everyone might be Doing it: beCause, how else can you FLY? Yes, I just Happen to have Nightly Dreams of FLYING, whereby I can Travel almost anywhere in my Dreams, while most People are just Dead Tired and Sound Asleep. Otherwise, they might have Nightmares! Yes, the Poisons within their Bowels would give Nightmares to Jesus Christ, himself, if he were in the same Sorry Condition as they are in. Therefore, I Choose to Adjust to the Circumstances, and Adapt to the Situation at hand: beCause, why Try to Fight Against it? After all, no matter how you go about Fasting, it is almost Certain to be a Failure: beCause there is nothing Proper to Eat nor Drink after Fasting, even as I have Proven, over and over! Yes, a Person's Taste Buds begin to Work Properly after Fasting Long Enough, at which Time the Air Stinks, the Water is Putrid, and the Food is Foul and/or Insipid! Therefore, until there is a New Jerusalem Built, we will just have to Suffer with the Stupidity, Selfishness, Laziness, and Ignorance of Mankind. However, not even a New Jerusalem will Solve the Whole Problem: beCause that Air just Happens to Blow all around the World, and it Carries Acid Rains with it, which can Ruin your Crops, and Poison your Land, and Weaken your Fruit Trees, and Cause them to get Brown Rot, just like it did for me in Good Old Kentucky! Therefore, the entire Earth is Presently CURSED! And that is WHY the Righteous People MUST Band Together, and Obtain the Power of God, and thus Take Over this Insane World. Indeed, there is only one other Option, and that is for Jesus Christ to Return and Take Over this Insane World, himself, which is Okay with me, if he does; but, like Patience Long Endures, I am getting Impatient! Yes, if I had my Way, all of the so-called "Leaders" of this World of Woes would be Invited to Come to a Great Worldwide Televised Court Hearing, and Answer my Important Questions, or else be Dethroned, Forever! 

Shirring the Hillside

Now, it came to pass that I Compromised concerning the Electrickery, and I Bought a long Wire that ran from the House of the nearest Neighbor, about 600 feet through the Woods to my "Tomb," which ran a new Electric Typewriter, where I Composed some of my "Tale Feathers," while Patience Long Endures Worked on Shirring the Hillside, which had those Blueberry Bushes within 50 feet of the Tomb. However, being a Speedy Person, he Actually got to those Blueberry Bushes, by 10 A.M., and Managed to Sheer Off 5 of the largest ones before I Discovered it, which he did not Recognize, even though I had Warned him that they were down there on the Hillside. However, there were about 25 other Bushes Remaining, which were smaller; but, they were large enough to Bear Fruits, and to make him Regret that he was so Ignorant that he could not Recognize a Bush from a Briar or a Weed. After all, I had Nursed those Blueberry Bushes for 7 Years, and they were just getting Big Enough to have a Gallon or more of Berries on each Bush, which could have been Sold or at least Given Away, if we could not Eat all of them. Moreover, they were the only Reliable Fruits on the entire Hillside, which were also All-organic and Disease-free. So, as it just Happened to be, when it came Time for Eating the other Blueberries that came on, we were both Fasting. Therefore, I Picked the Blueberries and Gave them Away, while Fasting; and therefore, we did not get to Eat any of them: beCause we did not have a Refrigerator! Therefore, the next Step after Fasting, was to Drag in an Old Used Refrigerator, which could Run when I was not Typing: because both Things would Overload the Line, if we Tried to Run them at the same Time with a Light Burning.

The White Dove on a Dish

Now, it came to pass that Patience Long Endures was Losing Faith in me and my "Inspired Writings," which he began to Doubt. Therefore, while I was Fasting, he just Happened to Wake up during one Night, and Looked into my Bedroom, which was within another Screened-in Shed that I had Built, Years before that, which was about 30'x30' just for the Purpose of having more Space for Visitors, which contained 2 Bedrooms with 2 Beds, each; and a "Toilet Room" between the Bedrooms. Yes, he Looked into my Bedroom unto his Astonishment: beCause there was a White Saucer Suspended in the Air beside of the Head of my Bed, and a little White Dove was Dancing around on the Dish! Therefore, Patience Long Endures PINCHED himself to make Sure that he was Wide Awake, and was not just "Seeing Things." So, after sitting up in Bed, and Watching it all for a half Hour or so, he Decided that he might also be Able to Wake me up, so that I could See such a Marvelous Thing, which Glowed with a Soft Light coming Out of the Dish: so that the White Dove was quite Visible, even in the Dark, at Midnight. Therefore, he Whispered, saying: "Wake up!" But, just as he said it, the Dish and the Dove simply Disappeared! Yes, it was Gone, never to Return again; but, the Memory of it Served to Remind Patience Long Endures for Years to come that I was Blest by the Master Farmer, who Showed to him that little Vision for his Encouragement: beCause I Needed Help to Proof-read my Books, which he was Good at: beCause it was in his Blood, since his Dad Worked in New York City for the Largest Book-Publishing Company in America, as a Proof-reader! Therefore, we were a Good Team for getting the Job Done, except that he was rather Explosive at Times, and even Violent, which he always Confessed and Begged for Forgiveness, even after Breaking my Ribs several Times! But, not on Angel Ridge, where he only did his Screaming and Raving and Foaming at the Mouth, like some Possessed Person, which would ease up after Fasting, while also Intensify after going back to Eating the WRong Foods, which neither he nor I Wanted to Eat; but, we did not have Good Foods to Eat, nor could we Afford it, even if such Foods were Sold. Moreover, the same Thing can be said for 98% or more of the People in this World of Woes, who do not even have Access to Good Fruits, even if they could Afford them. Therefore, unless there are some Drastic Changes made in the Management of this World, the Masses of People are simply going to Suffer, Forever!

A Special Dream

Now, it came to pass that while Fasting on Angel Ridge, Patience Long Endures had a Special Dream about a very Colorful Tree, which was Filled with all Kinds of Colorful Fruits and Bright-colored Birds, who were Chirping and Singing, which was no doubt a Vision of Things to Come; but, it was Certainly very Encouraging to him, who was Amazed by it. Therefore, God has his Strange but Effective Ways of Communicating with People.

The IBM Electronic Selectric Composer

All that Remains of it is a Photo: beCause I Trashed it about a Year ago: beCause it was only taking up Space in my small Storage Room, in spite of Initially Costing me more than 11,000$, including a bunch of Fonts, which had to be Changed each Time that a Different Font was Needed, which was upwards of a million Times! Yes, I had to Change the Font for Italics, Standard, Bold, and Bold Italics, in 3 Different Sizes, which soon Wore Out: beCause they were not Designed to do the Work that I had for them, whereby those Fonts might be Changed a hundred Times within just one Tale Feather, which might have to be Completely Redone more than twice: beCause of putting on the WRong Font when the Machine came to a Stop, which was Nerve Racking! Moreover, with Service Agreements and all, it was more like 32,000$ for 7 Years of Service, which I used for Composing about 100 Books. Furthermore, we had to Rent a Motel Room in Danville, just to do the Composing of some of the Books: beCause IBM was not about to Visit Angel Ridge for Repairing the Machine, which endured for one Year, and then we headed to ...

Mexico

Indeed, we had a 1970 Volkswagen Van, which Carried us to Mexico, and then to California, and then it Transported us around in Hawaii for another Year. However, we had Intentions of Fasting in Mexico, where there was a Chance of Obtaining some Immature Coconuts, which was Wishful Thinking: because it was Impossible to Live in such Areas: beCause of the Horrible Pollution. Therefore, after spending a Week or so over there, we tucked our Tails between our Legs, as they say, and headed North to El Paso, and from there to Carlsbad Caverns, and from there to Arizona, to the Grand Canyon, and from there to California: because Patience Long Endures was Tired of Following MY Plan. Therefore, I Agreed to let him Manage everything, from there on, which he did.

Hawaii again

Now, before we had left for Mexico, Patience Long Endures had Insisted that we should get at least 20 one-gallon Jugs of Distilled Water, which we not only Packed over there, to Mexico; but, all of the Way to Hawaii, and for Months after that, if you can Believe it! Yes, he was Sure that we would Need it, even though I was Sure that we need not Accept any Thoughts for Tomorrow, for whatever we might Need to Eat nor Drink; and therefore, with him in Command, all of those Jugs and all of our other Things were put onto a Wooden Pallet at the Long Beach Shipping Dock, and the Van was Loaded up Separately, and all of it was sent to Hawaii for 400$. Meanwhile, we got our Advance Airplane Tickets, and got over there for another 200$ or so, and took a small Plane to Molokai, which just Happened to let us out in a Rainstorm, where we had to Pitch our Pup Tent beside the Airport Landing Strip: beCause there was no Building there to get into, nor any Taxi to take us anywhere. Therefore, after Wading around in the Mud, we finally got the Tent Pitched, and got into it, while it went on Raining all Night. Therefore, the next Morning, just as soon as the Rain let up some, we Abandoned that Place, and Walked into Town, which was little more than a small Store, a Laundry, a Bar, and a Restaurant with a "Hotel" of sorts. So, we Tried to Dry Out our Clothes, which did not get Dry within 2 Hours: beCause Army Sleeping Bags are filled with Chicken Feathers, which do not easily Dry Out once they get Wet; and ours were Soaked! Nevertheless, given another 2 Hours or so, they did get somewhat Dry, and therefore we left there: beCause Patience Long Endures just Happened to Discover some Old Acquaintance, who had a Tipi House on the other Side of the Island, near to a State Park, where Lepers use to Live. So, we got into the Back End of his Datsun Pickup, and headed out in the Pouring Rain, with our Army Ponchos on. However, we had not quite Escaped from the "Town," when the Pickup got Stalled Out in a Fast-running Creek that went right over the Street! Indeed, if there was a Culvert under the Road, it was certain well Hidden under 4 feet of Muddy Water! So, the Driver Suspected that some of the Water got under the Distributor Cap, which he just Happened to have an Extra one of, which he Changed; but, the Pickup could not get Out of the Creek until we got out and Pushed on it.

The Tipi House

Now, after an Hour or so, the Datsun arrived with us at the Tipi House, which was so Moldy and Musty that a Person could Barely Breathe! Yes, we could hardly Wait to get ourselves Out of there, and Especially when we Discovered that his Old Acquaintance was not so Hospitable as a Swangkee, Bob Smith, or Roger Smith might be. Indeed, we ended up spending that Night Sleeping under a Park Pavilion, on a Picnic Table! Now, please Remember that we were Fasting all of that Time, and had not had anything to Eat nor Drink since before we left Californicate. Therefore, nothing was all that Easy to Do, including Packing those Duffle Bags around with all of our Clothing and everything in them, and hardly any Money! Well, at any rate, the Rain let up in the Morning, and we got our Tent Pitched, and had just Settled in when some Hawaiians came riding up in their SUV, and Showed to us their Pistols, and said: "You F...ing Fagots have 15 Minutes to get Out of here!" Now, whatever we were, we were NOT Fagots; but, we were certainly Gone within 14 Minutes! Yes, we were back to the Tipi House, Begging for a Ride to get Out of there: beCause we were certainly NOT Welcome on that Part of the Island of Cannibals. After all, it was another one of those Crowded Islands, where People Feel Threatened by just 2 more People, in spite of having Vast Vacant Spaces! Nevertheless, the Tipi Man told us about another Man who Lived about 10 Miles from there, who had a Farm with all Kinds of Fruit Trees, who sometimes Hired People to Care for his Trees, and Pick the Fruits, which were Shipped off to some other Island. So, he gave to us a Ride over there; but, that Man was not at Home, and would not be back for 3 Days. Therefore, Patience Long Endures Decided to Depart for the next Island, which was ...

Lanai

Now, in Order to get to Lanai [pronounced LAN-ii], we had to get on a Fairy Boat, which came once per Day, at about 2 PM. Therefore, we got onto it, and passed by Lanai, which is mostly a Pineapple Plantation, and went on to Maui [MOW-ee], which was much more Populated and Civilized, which also had some Old Acquaintances of Patience Long Endures. Yes, both he and she were Messeurs, and he had Massaged former President Gerald Ford, when he Visited Hawaii for a Golfing Tour. So, we were Invited to Pitch our Tent across the Street, on the Slope of a Hillside, which we did: beCause we had no other Place to go to, and we were Tired. After all, there was no Space in the 20-room Mansion for "HOBOS"! Moreover, they had a small Cherimoya Tree, which might have had a dozen or so Fruits hanging in it, which would Ripen up within 10 Days, if they were Picked by Means of a Non-existent Ladder! However, they were not ours to be Picked. Therefore, we did not Touch them: beCause I Calculated that if we did Touch them, we would Owe our Lives to those "Good Friends." Well, at any rate, within a Week of Fasting in that Pup Tent, we were Ready to Move on to some more Hospitable Place, which proved to be a Naked Beach, which was Difficult to get to, and Extremely Difficult while Fasting; but, it was not bothered by the Police, who did not Care who went Naked, even though I never did. However, when I say that it was a "Naked" Beach, I Mean that it was Barren of anything to Eat and Drink. Yes, it was Truly NAKED, as in Desperately Stark Naked!

The 10-day Dry Fast

Now, it came to pass that after Fasting for another 10 Days, we were both Thirsty and Hungry; but, there was nothing there, except whatever someone else had Packed in there on their Backs, such as a Jug of Water that was sitting alone in a Tent about 20 feet from our Tent, which was more of a Temptation than Patience Long Endures could Resist! Therefore, he Stole that Young Man's only Jug of Water, and Drank some of it, which I Refused to Drink: because I Knew that there might be Consequences for it: beCause Water was a Precious Thing over there, being right next to the Pacific Ocean, if you know what I Mean, without a Drop to Drink: beCause there were NO Coconuts! So, within an Hour, or less, the Owner came back to get a Drink, and his Jug was gone; therefore, the first thing he did was to Ask US if we Seen anyone with it, and Patience Long Endures hauled it out and gave it to him, with about a quarter of the Water still in it. So, before he Killed us, I Explained to him that we had not had anything to Eat nor Drink within 10 Days, except for what Patience Long Endures had Drunk from his Jug, which was not even half full when he Stole it. Therefore, seeing that we were Dehydrated, and as Skinny as Bean Poles, he backed off and Retreated to his Tent, having Mixed Feelings, being Angry for his Loss of Water, and being almost in Tears from Looking at our Gaunt Faces, being Torn Apart in his Heart and Head, whereby his Head Desperately Wanted to Kill us, while his Heart Wanted to Rescue us with Pity and Great Compassion, which he had left at the Beach: beCause of getting Compassion Mixed up with Passions of Lust, which left him Shaking his Head with Bewilderment. Meanwhile, with whatever Strength that we had left within us, we got our Stuff into our Duffle Bags, and headed for the Highway: beCause, if a Single Word had gotten around that Thieves were in the Camp, we might have been Executed that same Night! So, being so Thirsty and Hungry, it was all that we could do to get ourselves to the Highway before we Died from Exhaustion; and I almost Died anyway, from the Thought that we could be Living in such a Cruel World, which still nearly Kills me!

The Cherimoya Royal Flush

Now, by the Mercy of God, we got a Ride with a "Pot-smoking Hippie," was was headed to Town, who just Happened to know where the Fruit Market was, where we got out and looked around, and Wandered Around for the next Hour: beCause we were nearly Broke! Therefore, after standing around for an Hour, looking at all of the Fruits for Sale, I Spotted a Box of Ripe Cherimoyas; and therefore, I asked the Proprietor if he would Sell the entire Box for 5$? And he Agreed that it was the Best Way to get Rid of them, and us too. Therefore, we had a Cherimoya Feast, which were the Best Fruits that we had ever Eaten, which also went on through our Bowels, and gave to us enough Strength and Energy to get to the Big Island of Hawaii, to a City called Hilo [HEE-loo], where the Van was Supposed to Arrive within a Month after we Departed from California. Therefore, we had a couple of Weeks to Wait, until it got there, which was the only Time in Hawaiian History that it did not Rain for 2 Weeks, until that Van got there; and then, just after we got our Stuff into it, the Rain began to Pour, again! (Now, do not get me WRong, there were other Times when it did not Rain; but, not during the Rainy Season, and we were right in the Middle of it.) Therefore, we spent the next 2 Weeks Fasting in the Van, in one of the State Parks near the Beach, where there was a Shower House, and a Laundry was not too far away, as well as an Abandoned Hotel, which could have been Used for a Swangkee Fasting Sanitarium, if I had been in Charge; but, behold, it was all in the Loving Care of Patience Long Endures.