ThePeacock.com

By the Weary Traveler

Believe it or not, this World is set up in Order to get as much of your Money as Possible, and especially if you are a Traveler — which includes that Person or Family that goes Searching for the Right Place to Live, while Renting Motel Rooms, Eating at Restaurants, and taking in the Tourist Sites. However, if you have been Wise, you have Saved your Money: so that you can go First Class, which is to go by Means of a Volkswagen Camper Van: so that you can Sleep for a Week, or even for one Year, at no Extra Expense. Moreover, if you are Wise, you will Eat very little or no Food at all, except for Fresh Fruits, so that you can Smell everything better: because the Smell of a certain Place should tell you a lot about the Environment. For Example, if it Smells like a Hog Pen, or a Chicken House, you might Want to Consider another Place to Live. However, Hog Pens and Chicken Houses might be rather Pleasant Places when compared with Steel Mills and Oil Refineries. Therefore, use your Common Sense, and Buy as little as possible: because you will Need most of your Money later on, when you begin to Build something: because most Building Materials are OUTRAGEOUSLY Priced, which is another Reason to Plan on Using ROCKS: because some Places have far more Rocks than you could Use during a million Years! However, you must make Sure that such Rocks are GOOD for Building with them: because Shale, crumbly Limestone, and Round Rocks are NO Good for Building Good Walls, which must be HARD and STRONG. Nevertheless, you may Use certain Round Rocks in Combination with Concrete, if you cannot find any Sharp-edged Rocks.

Before you Buy anything, talk with the Local People, as if you were just passing through, in Order to Discover the Truth about what is going on. Be Patient, QUIET, and Agreeable: because you will Learn more. Just ask simple Questions, like these:

1. What is this Place Famous for? (Which will take some Old Person half of a Day just to Answer it; but he or she will also Open the Door for more Questions.)
2. What Kind of Food grows best around here?
3. Are the Bugs very Bad?
4. Is there any Harmful Pollution around here, such as Chemical Waste Disposal Dumps?
5. Do most People go to Church?
6. Is this a Dry County (non-alcoholic, in other words)?
7. Is there any Place around here to Camp for a few Days without getting into Trouble with the Law?
8. Is there much Crime around here?

Now, unless you are a Missionary, who is Trying to get the Wicked Ones Converted, you should AVOID any Conversations with People who seem to be Irritable, Grumpy, or Non-friendly: because you will probably not Learn much from them. Indeed, it is Better to look for that Smiling Face: because that Person might be Helpful, and might even Feed to you Supper, and at last put you up for the Night after a Shower, just because of you Washing their Dishes, or Mopping their Floor, which is a small Exchange when compared with those Costly Motel Rooms and Restaurants. Howbeit, I have Discovered that most Americans are AFRAID of Strangers — as if all Strangers might be Criminals — and therefore, it is sometimes very Difficult to make Friends with anyone, and especially if they think that you are Trying to Sell something to them, or Beg for something. Therefore, the Way to Open the Door, is to Offer some Gift to them — such as an Apple, if you can find some Good ones — but make Sure that you are also Eating one with them: because it might Appear that you are Trying to Poison them. Indeed, the whole American Scene reminds me of the 1996 Olympic Games in Atlanta, Georgia, where more than 30,000 Guards were on Watch for Would-be Criminals!

Now, I Hear someone, who is like a Red Cow, moo: “O Peacock, we have certainly come a very long ways since the Days of Adolf Hitler, when he rode down the Streets of Berlin in an OPEN Car, without getting Assassinated! Indeed, would any Modern President DARE to do that, O Peacock?” No, I reckon not, O Red Cow: because he would most certainly get Assassinated by someone, if not by one of his own Guards, as some People say was the Case with John F. Kennedy, which could be the Truth: because that Case was never Resolved to MY Satisfaction; and I Doubt that YOU were Satisfied with it, either. (See: The Peabrain Peacock Investigates the Kennedy Assassination!) Therefore, the Solution is to hold that Great Worldwide TELEVISED Court HEARING: so that we can get ALL of the Fine Details from whomever might Know something. For Example, someone must Know how the so-called “Magic Bullet” got into the Hospital, after going through 2 Bodies, while Shattering Bones, without any Noticeable Damage. Surely, someone is JOKING. But, the Ancient Mothballed CBS News Broadcaster, Walter Cronkite, supposedly Believed it; and therefore, it must be True: because he holds some kind of a World Record for being “the Most Honest News Reporter that ever Lived,” being more Trusted than Jesus Christ, they say, who said: “O Generation of Vipers, how can you, being Evil, speak Good Things: because, out of the Abundance of the Heart, the Mouth Speaks?” “Woe unto you Scribes and Pharisees, you Hypocrites, you Generation of Vipers: because how shall you Escape the Damnation of Hellfire.” — The NMV of Matthew 12:34, and 23:33. After all, if there were even ONE Honest News Reporter, he or she would Report the Truth about American Houses, Greedy Bankers, and Wicked Politicians, who are Careful to never mention our 98% Rock Houses, which Cost half as much as the Average American Firetrap Mouse-infested Cockroach Den! Moreover, Walter Cronkite never mentioned it either: because it was probably of “no Importance to Americans,” who would much rather have Houses that Burn up, Blow away, get Eaten up by Termites, or just ROT. (See: The Great FALSE ECONOMY, which Compliments my Photo Gallery concerning that Subject, which shows Photos of really GOOD American Houses, like Honest News Reporters and Bankers LOVE.) §§