ThePeacock.com

Theez rr thu Magnifiid Werdz uv Awgqer, thu Sun uv Yawkeh, eeven hiz Profusee az thu Man spook tq Eetheeaal — meening, “Thu Supreem Rqler haz Uriivd” — and tq Qkawl — meening, “tq Feest and Divower” — saaing:

2) Sherlee ii am moor Brqtish and Baas than enee Man, and dq not hav thee Understanding uv u Wiiz Man. Ii hav neether Lernd Wizdum, noor hav thu Nolij uv thu Hoolee Wunz; but, ii Seek it, and ii Long tq fiind it.*

4) Ii sot thu Kreeaater bii Meenz uv much Fasting and Praaing, and hiz Vois Spook theez Werdz tq mii Irz: “Hq haz Usendid up intq Hevn, oor Deesendid intq thu Deep Bowlz uv thee Erth? Hq haz Gatherd thu Wind in hiz Fists? Hq haz Bownd thu Woterz uv thee Ooshunz in u Sak, soo tq speek? Hq haz Establisht awl uv thee Endz uv thee Erth, and set thu Limutaashunz uv thu Naashunz? Hq haz raazd up Graat Mowntunz and krrvd owt Wiid Valeez? Hq haz kawzd Streemz and Riverz uv Woter tq floo foorth? Hq haz fild thu Seez with awl Kiindz uv Fishuz, and eevn Monsterous Beests liik Hwaalz? Hq haz Tawt thu Berdz how tq Flii, how tq Bild their Nests in their oon Uuneek Waaz, how tq Miigraat hundredz and thowzundz uv miilz, and reetern Hoom ugen in dq Seezun? Hq haz Establisht an Oorderlee Kingdum umung awl uv thee Anumoulz, maaking Rqlerz foor eech Kiind? Hq haz Tawt thu Beez how tq Gather Hunee and Bild their Speshoul Empiierz? Hq haz maad an INTERDEEPENDUNT Werld foor awl Kiindz uv Plants and Kreecherz tq Liv in? — hwut iz hiz Naam, and hwut iz hiz Sun’z Naam, if uu kan tel?” And ii wuz Speechlus.

5) Evree Werd uv thu Moost Hii Rqler iz Pyer and Trustwerthee; but, Pervers and Ignerunt Men Misunderstand hiz Werdz, and eevn Mistranslaat them intq uther Langgwijuz with Werdz that dq not hav thee Igzakt saam Meeningz: beekawz thooz Werdz awfn dq not Igzist in thooz Langgwijuz; neverthules, hee iz u Sheeld and Prootekter foor thooz Peepoul hq pout their Trust in him, uloon, and hav Faath in hiz Reeveeld Werdz uv Prqvuboul Trqths: beekawz hee sendz Profuts umung awl Naashunz uv Wiiz Peepoul, and Reeveelz hiz Graat Trqths thrq them, Ukoording tq their Faath and Oobeedeeuns tq hiz Reeveeld Werdz uv Prqvuboul Trqths — in hwutever Langgwij thaa rr Reekoordid in. Theirfoor, dq not ad enee Liiz tq hiz Werdz uv Trqth, lest hee shoud Reeprqv uu, and uu shoud bee fownd tq bee u Liier. Neether shal uu Twist hiz Werdz, in Oorder tq foulfil yer oon Lusts and Ambishunz, lest uu shoud Diseev yoorself, and in thee End beekum u Fql and u Hipukrit.*

7) Their rr 2 Thingz, hwich ii Reekwest frum uu, oo God; pleez dq not deenii mee uv them beefoor ii Dii — taak Uwaa awl Liierz and their Endlus Liiz, ulong with awl uv their Vanuteez. Yes, Pleez Reemqv frr frum mee Vanutee and Liiz; giv tq mee neether Ekstreem Povertee noor Ekstreem Richuz; Feed mee with Fqdz that rr Kunveenyunt foor mee tq Obtaan: lest ii beekum Pqr, and then Steel, and taak thu Naam uv mii Supreem Rqler in Vaan and dq not eeven Oner him az mii Supreem Rqler. Mooroover, Feed mee with Fqdz that rr Trqlee Satisfiiing, lest ii Stuf miiself with tq much Fqd hwiil Desperutlee Triiing tq get Eenuf, and then Deenii mii Saavyer, and saa: “Hq iz thu Supreem Rqler?” Sherlee noo Hunggree Man ever Dowtid hiz Igzistuns hwen hee sat himself down tq Eet thu Sweet Frqts uv Trq Satisfakshun! Seelu.*

10) Dq not Fawlslee Ukuuz u Servunt tq hiz Master, lest hee shoud Kers uu, and in thee End uu shoud bee fownd Giltee. Their iz u Jenuraashun uv Fqlz hq Kers their Fotherz, and dq not Bles their Mutherz; but, their iz awlsoo u Jenuraashun uv Wiiz Peepoul, hq Bles their Fotherz and Mutherz, and thaa shal bee kawld thu Hoolee Wunz, eeven thu Sunz and Dawterz uv thu Supreem Rqler, hq Oobaa thu Riichus Wunz. Mooroover, their iz u Jenuraashun uv Fqlz hq rr Pyer in their oon Iiz, and yet thaa rr not Wosht Kleen frum their Filtheenus; and thaa shal bee kawld thee Unhoolee Wunz, eeven thu Children uv Unkleen Men, and thu Wikid Wunz. Oo how LOFTEE rr their Iiz! and their Iilidz rr liftid up; yes, their Hedz rr held Hii with PRIID, and thaa woud Dans and Sing at their oon Fuuneroulz — if thaa koud — beekawz thaa rr u Jenuraashun uv Hrrd-hrrtid Reboulz, hqz Teeth rr liik Soordz, and their Jaw Boonz liik Iiern, and thaa Biit at thu Pqr Laabering Peepoul, and Divower their Erningz; yes, thaa Rob thu Needee Wunz uv hwut litoul Welth that thaa hav left. Oo how STIF rr their Neks, and how HRRD rr their Foorhedz! Theirfoor, Shaam and Gilt shal kuver them dering that Graat Daa uv Diviin Jujmunt, hwen thaa Diskuver themselvz KAST OWT uv thu Kingdum uv Awl that iz Goud: beekawz thaa KAST OWT thu Profuts hq Triid tq Koorekt them, and thaa woud not Oobaa thu Trqth; but, thaa Hrrdend their Hrrts moor and moor untq their oon Self-deestrukshun and Kondemnaashun. Woo tq thooz Peepoul hq KAST OWT thu Profuts and Teecherz uv Riichusnus, hq Luv their Soolz Eenuf tq Trii tq Reeprqv them foor their Sinz: beekawz thaa shal awlsoo bee KAST OWT. Woo tq thooz Peepoul hq Reejekt thu Trqth withowt eeven Triiing tq Prqv it tq bee Riit noor Rong. Yes, Woo tq thooz Peepoul hq Klooz their Irz and Reefuuz tq Hir: beekawz thaa shal beekum Def tq Awl that iz Goud. Woo tq thooz Peepoul hq Klooz their Iiz and Reefuuz tq See: beekawz thaa shal bee Bliindid frum Seeing thee Ultimit Trqth, and at last thaa shal Fawl intq that Graat Botumlus Pit uv Kunfuuzhun, hweir thu Beest and thu Fawls Profuts rr. Woo tq thooz Peepoul hq saa that thaa hav Reeseevd thu Werd uv God, and that their kanot bee enee moor Werdz frum their Supreem Rqler: beekawz thooz rr awl uv thu Werdz uv Liif that thaa shal ever hav, and in thee End thaa shal Lqz eevn thooz Werdz: beekawz thaa hav not Oobaad them, neether in Deed noor Ukoording tq thu Trqth; but, thaa hav Deeniid them bii their Akshunz and their Werdz. Indeed, hee hq sez that hee Luvz God, oor thee Unointid Saavyer; but Haats hiz Bruther hq Triiz tq Koorekt him, iz just u Liier and u nir Relutiv uv u Merderer; and uu noo that noo Merderer shal hav enee Inheirutuns in thu Hoolee Kingdum uv Awl that iz Goud. Theirfoor, HUMBOUL yoorself, oo PROWD Rqster, and STOP yoor Krooing and STRUTING urownd liik u Chikun hqz Hed iz ubowt tq bee Reemqvd with thu Soord uv Trqth. Yes, Humboul yoorself bii Meenz uv Fasting and Praaing, until AWL uv thu Filth and Priid iz Therulee Reemqvd frum yoor Bodee and Miind, and then uu miit Kwolufii tq dq sum Krooing; but, ii Striktlee FOORBID uu tq dq enee BOOSTING ubowt yoor Fasting, and how LONG uu Deeniid yoorself, until God maaks uu Hoolee, foor hwich uu shoud giv tq him Thangks. Shaam on uu hq Boost ubowt yoor Hooleenus: beekawz uu koud not posublee bee Hoolee and soo Prowd at thu saam Tiim: beekawz u Hoolee Man iz thu moost Humboul uv awl Men, and hee foulee Understandz that hee did NOT maak himself Hoolee; and theirfoor, hee givz awl uv thu Glooree and Praaz tq hiz Kreeaater and King; but, thu Fql Imajinz that hee did sumthing, in Oorder tq maak himself Hoolee, and theirfoor hee reemaanz Unkleen and Unhoolee — eevn u Prowd and Boostfoul FQL.*

15) Thu Hoors-leech haz 2 Dawterz, kriiing: “Giv tq us Blud, giv tq us moor Blud!” But, ii ask uu, kan thaa bee Satisfiid with moor Blud? Rr thaa not liik thu Rich Peepoul hq wont moor and moor Welth, eevn thoo thaa rr STUFT FOUL, and eevn thoo their iz noo moor Spaas in their Vaan Howziz foor enee moor Vanuteez? Sherlee, just liik thu Hoorsleech, thaa shal Dii and leev awl uv their Welth beehiind; and thu Children uv Wizdum wil taak Nootis uv it, and Stoor up their Trezherz in Hevnlee Bangks bii dqing Goud foor utherz with their Welth, hwiil Trusting thu Master Frrmer tq Paa them Just Waajuz dering thu Liif tq kum, hwen thaa shal bee givn moor Welth tq Manij. Theirfoor, taak Goud Heed tq mii Inspiierd Werdz uv Prqvuboul Trqths, oo Children uv Men, and Understand that if uu dq hav moor Welth dering this Liif than utherz, it iz u Test uv yoor Faath, in Oorder tq Prqv yoor Karikter, in Oorder tq Diskuver hweir yoor Hrrt iz, in Oorder tq fiind owt HQ uu Luv moost. Theirfoor, bee Ekseedinglee Wiiz, oo uu Welthee Children uv Men, and dq Goud with yoor Welth, insted uv Waasting it on yer oon Lusts and Sinfoul Plezherz. Yes, dq Goud bii Paaing Feir Waajuz tq thooz Peepoul hqm uu Hiier, and seek tq maak them Rich, awlsoo, bii Sheiring theez Werdz uv Trqth with them. Their rr at leest 3 Thingz that kan never bee Satisfiid; yes, at leest 4 Thingz never saa: “It iz Eenuf” — thu Graav, thu Baren Wqm, thu Drii Land, hwich iz not fild with Woter; thu Fiier, hwich kunsqmz; and thu Taks Kulekterz uv u Wikid Guvernmunt — nun uv them ever krii owt: “It iz Eenuf!”*

17) Thee Iiz that Mok at Riichus Fotherz, and hwich Dispiiz Oobeedeeuns tq Goud Mutherz, shal bee Pekt Owt bii thu Raavenz, and thu Yung Eegoulz shal Feest on thu Reemaander uv thu Krrkusiz. Uu shal See it with yer oon Iiz, mii Sun, dering thu Daa uv Batoul; but, not u Heir uv yer oon Hed shal Fawl.*

18) Their rr 3 Thingz that seem tq bee tq Mrrvulous foor mee tq Eksplaan; yes, their rr 4 Thingz, hwich ii dq not noo how tq Eksplaan — thu Waa uv an Eegoul in thee Eir, thu Waa uv u Snaak on u Hot Rok, thu Waa uv u Ship in thu midoul uv thu See, thu Waa uv u Man Koorting u Maad, and thu Waa uv Taks Masterz with Taks Slaavz — “thooz rr just tq difukult tq Understand,” sez thee Ignerunt Man tq thu Brqtish and Baas Man; but, thu Wiiz Wunz wil Serch owt thu Trqths kunserning awl such Thingz, and Reepoort ubowt them.*

20) This iz thu Waa uv an Udulterous Wooman: shee Eets liik u Hog, and Dringks liik u Kow, and wiips her Greesee Mowth with u Kleen Kloth, and sez: “Ii hav dun noo Wikidnus — soo hwii dq uu Steir at mee?” Her Mowth upirz Kleen, az wel az her uther Bodee Prrts; but, her Breth smelz liik that Puutrid Smel uv an Oold Dog’z Breth; her Blud iz foul uv Poizunz, and her Bowlz rr az Puutrid az thu Graav. Noo wunder shee haz Bad Dreemz! Shee iz Irutaatid and Toormentid bii thu FILTH within her Bowlz, hwich givz Power tq thu Devoul, hq Rqlz Oover her. Just Lisun and Lern.*

21) Foor 3 Thingz thee Erth iz set in Termoil, and foor 4 Thingz it kan hrrdlee beir thu Presher — foor u Fql hwen hee Rqlz, foor u Servunt hwen hee iz foul uv Flesh and Wiin, foor an Oodeeus Wooman hwen shee iz Mareed tq u Kiindhrrtid Jentoulman; foor u Handmaad hq iz Eir tq her Mistris, but kanot Kuntrool her Welth; and foor u Polutishun hq kan oonlee Diskuver 2 Rong Waaz uv dqing evreething — thooz Thingz rr just tq much tq Beir, eevn with Tirz.*

24) Their rr 5 Thingz, hwich rr litoul Thingz on thee Erth; but, thaa rr ekseedinglee Wiiz. Thu Beez rr not lrrj Peepoul, and yet thaa rr Wiiz Eenuf and Strong Eenuf tq Preepeir their Fqd dering thu Sumer foor thu Winter, hwen their rr noo Blosumz on thu Frqt Treez and Flowerz. Liikwiiz, thee Ants rr eevn smawler, and yet thaa Karee graat Berdenz, in Oorder tq Bild their Howziz and Feed their Yung Wunz, eevn withowt ByerooRats, Taks Masterz, and Polutishunz Rqling Oover them. Thu Rabits rr u Feeboulmiindid Fook, and yet thaa hav Eenuf Komun Sens tq dig owt Howziz under thu Roks and in thu Hilz, in Oorder tq taak Advantij uv thu Woormth, Kqlnus, and Protekshun uv thee Erth: beekawz uv Thermoul Mas. Thu Lookusts seem tq hav noo King, yet thaa awl goo foorth bii Bandz and Rrmeez; yes, thaa Sing Tqgether, Dans Tqgether, Werk Tqgether, Eet Tqgether, and Sleep Tqgether; and not wun uv them ever Paad Inkum Taksuz, Insheruns, noor Sooshoul Sukyerutee Taksuz. Thu Spiider taaks hoold with her Handz, and iz eevn fownd in Kingz’ Palisuz; but, Fqlz rr Kawt oor Trapt in u Web uv Liiz, hwich iz Keirfoulee Spun bii u Fawls Guvernmunt, hqz Rqlerz liv in Vaan Palisuz, hwich kan Bern tq thu Grownd within just u fuu Minits.*

29) Their rr 3 Thingz, hwich goo wel with mii Sool; yes, 4 Thingz rr kumlee in their Waaz. U Liiun, hwich iz moost Furooshous, and thu Stronggust uv awl uv thu Kats, hq duz not tern uwaa frum enee uther; u Goorilu, hq iz thu Stronggust uv awl uv thu Beests in thu Foorust foor its Siiz and Waat; u Graahownd, hwich runz veiree swiftlee; an hee Goot, hq buts Hedz with enee Goot hq iz wiling tq Chalenj him, and eevn leeps oover Lrrj Roks on Hii Mowntunz; and u Riichus King, ugenst hqm their iz noo wun tq riiz up and Prqv him tq bee Rong. Yes, thooz 5 Thingz rr moost Mrrvulous in ower Iiz; but, their iz wun that Ekselz awl uv them — eeven u Hoolee Man hq kan dq awl Kiindz uv Mirukoulz in thu Naam uv thu Moost Hii Rqler. THAT, mii Pqr Boi, iz wel werth gooing owt uv yoor waa tq See!*

32) If uu hav dun Fqlishlee bii lifting yoorself up ubuv utherz: soo that uu miit louk down on them; oor if uu hav thot Eevoul, laa yoor Hand on yoor Mowth, and dq not Speek: beekawz u Poizunous Snaak miit spring foorth and Biit sum Inusunt Sool.*

33) Sherlee thu Cherning uv Kreem bringz foorth Buter, and thu Ringing uv thu Nooz bringz foorth Blud: soo thu Foorsing uv wun’z oon Waa bringz foorth Rath, Striif, and eevn Needlus Woorz! Seelu.*