[A Bushbuck. Remember that all Bovines have HORNS, while the Deer Families have ANTLERS, which they Shed once per Year, while Horns are not Shed. All of the Photos within this Chapter are showing Animals with HORNS, which Classifies them as BOVINES. Also, Remember that not even half of the Species of Bovines are shown within this Chapter, which were around before the Great Flood: because they are now Extinct. All Photos Gratefully come from Wikipedia Commons. Thank you, Wikipedia! God Bless.]
That is not to say that all Mormons are Morons, by any Means: beCause many of them are very Intelligent, Rich, and Well "educated" (Brainwashed) People with Various False Doctrines, even as I have Proven beyond any Shadow of a Doubt within: The New MAGNIFIED Version of The Book of MORMON! Yes, that Inspired Book is a bit Sarcastic, here and there; but, not without a very Good Reason. After all, there are more than 400 Major Religions in this World of Wonders, and thousands of Sub-sects of those False Religions, which can only be Accredited to IGNORANCE, or a Lack of Information within the "Holy Bible," which is a very Mutilated Book, which even Mentions some 22 Books that are not found within most Bibles. [See: Does God Inspire any Person to Reveal any Truth during these Times??, for a List of those Missing Books with References to their Locations.]
[The Lesser Kudu.]
Personally, I do not care whether or not a Moron is Elected to be our next President, since those Presidents have almost always been Morons, anyway, when Compared with Jesus Christ, the Apostle Paul, Moses, King David, Solomon, or some very Intelligent Person, who is Well Educated with a Capital E. [See: Justifications for Capitalizations!] Indeed, the Chances of an Honest Person being Elected as the President of the Divided States of United Lies is very Slender, if not Impossible: beCause the Vast Majority of Americans are MORONS, themselves! In Fact, if they were not, they would Quickly Agree with me concerning HOW to get Rid of Taxes, or at least Greatly Reduce the Taxes: beCause that is Possible! Indeed, if everyone in the whole World should Learn, Believe, Love, and OBEY the New MAGNIFIED Version of the Ten Commandments, just how many Taxes would be Needed? But, of course, not EVERYONE is going to Learn those Commandments, let alone Believe them: beCause they are not Mandatory Reading in Public Schools: beCause Satan, Incorporated, is in Charge of Things "down here." Yes, God has given all of the Kingdoms / Governments of this World to SATAN, the Devil, who Offered them to Jesus Christ when he was being Tempted in the Wilderness of Sin: beCause Mankind must be Tested to the Limit by the Devil, in Order for God to Discover WHO is Qualified to Govern with him within his Future Holy Kingdom! So, until then, we have to Suffer with a Great TALL WALL of SEPARATION Between Church and State, which makes it Possible for X-amount of Children to never get a Proper Education! [See: Do People Need to go to School, in Order to get a Good Education??, Should the Ten Commandments be Posted in Public Schools??, and: Should there be a WALL of SEPARATION Between Church and State??] Indeed, most Educated People will Freely Confess that almost all of the Problems in this World of Woes have come about by IGNORANCE! But, very PROUD Mis-educated Brainwashed MORONS will not Confess it: beCause of their own Ignorance! [See: Are WE DECEIVED??] Therefore, it Pays to be Humble and Perfectly HONEST: beCause the only Way Out of the Prison of Lies is to pass through the Door of Confession, which, of course, is Locked and Unlocked by the KEY of the Knowledge of All that is Good and Evil!
Now, I Know for a Fact that it would be far too Humiliating for a PROUD Presidential Candidate to CONFESS the Truth about any given Subject that is Contrary to his Traditional Beliefs, or else they might all come to the same Happy Conclusion — that DUMBmocracy has Proven itself to be a FARSE! For Example, this Year, in 2012, various Republican Candidates have been Running with their Bags Full of Money in a Political Race to the Little White Backhouse, in Washington, District of Criminals (CHIEF Criminals, that is); and therefore, like Rabbits, they have been Hopping around from State to State, giving to us their very Boring Repetitious Speeches, HOPING that we, the People, will Elect THEM. However, less than 10 percent of the People have shown up in such Primary Elections, and for various Reasons; but, mostly for APATHY: beCause they have Played this Political Game before, and Lost! Yes, they Voted for Obama has been Osama, for Example, who Promised to them Great CHANGES, if only he got himself into that Orifice in Washington, which STINKS to the Highest Heaven and to the Lowest Hell with Political PROPAGANDIST LIES — such as the Need to SEPARATE the Heart of Government (the Church) from the Head of Government in the Body of a GOOD Government, as if the Body of Government could Live Well without a HEART! [See: WHO QUALIFIES to Rule Over US??]
Indeed, we have Mitt Romney for a Good Example of another Politician who Sincerely Believes in the WALL of SEPARATION Between Church and State, who, like almost all other Politicians, RELIES on his Strong Faith in GOD to Guide him to the Finish Line! Yes, he PRAYS to God that he will WIN this Race, which almost all Politicians have done since the Days of George Washington, who was the First Drug Addict in Charge, who Earned his Living by Growing Tobacco and Making Whiskey for Sale, while Using and Abusing over a hundred Negro SLAVES, for whom he provided Bunk Beds Equivalent to those of Nazi Concentration Camps, with Straw Mattresses on Hard Boards, in Unheated Shanties! However, George would no doubt View himself from a Different Angle, if he were to Arise SOBER from the Dead, and Look around him, right now. Yes, his Democratic Plan has now Produced about 3 Million PRISONERS! Awe, it has also Produced 200+ Million Drug Addicts, 150+ Million Known RAPES, 150+ Million Known Abortions, 100+ Million Unknown OBESE People, Countless Heart Attacks, Strokes, and a Long List of 300,000+ other Diseases! Boy-O-Boy, that is Real PROGRESS, George! Hip, Hip, HURRAY! All Hail the POWER of Demon-ocracy! God Bless America! [See: Why am I so PROUD to be an American!, and: Is America Number 1??]
Now, I would not want anyone to Imagine that I am just another Fault-finder of the "Glories of Democracy," because I am NOT, since I am the only Person that I know of, who has Reasonable Solutions for all such Massive Problems, which are Presented on this Website, if you Search for them among the 300+ Books that I have Written by the Spirit of Inspiration. [See the far left Column on this Page, at the Bottom of it, for Links to those Good Books.]
Now, I Hear someone, who is like a Pelican, squawk: "O Peabrain Peacock, there is only ONE Good Book, and that is our Holy Bible, which makes all of your Uninspired books look like TRASH in a Garbage Dump." Well, O Pelican, the Bible is NOT just a Good Book; but, it is an EXCEPTIONALLY Good Book. [See my List of Swangkee GRADES.] Therefore, it is WRong for you to Condemn all other Books, as if they were BAD books, when there are many Good Books that are not found within the Bible — such as the Book of Mormon, which is Full of Provable Truths and Great Wisdom! Yes, like the Bible, it has its Weaknesses; but, it is not Fair to Throw Out the Baby with the Bath Water, as they say, nor to Condemn the entire Mountain of Truth for the Sake of one little Stumbling-stone! After all, I would not have Wasted my Precious Time, reading both the Bible and the Book of Mormon from Cover to Cover more than 20 Times, if those Books were not Worthy of my Precious Time. Indeed, I have spent many YEARS Studying them for your Sake, so as to be Able to make them Plain and Easy for you to Understand, which is WHY that I have MAGNIFIED them in Plain English! Therefore, if anyone Studies my Versions of them, they quickly come to the Conclusion that they have been Living in the Darkness of Ignorance far too long!
[A Female Kudu with Wildebeests]
Now, I Hear someone, who is like the Irreverent LOUDMOUTH Slothgut Windbag Hole-in-his-Head, say: "O Peabrain Peacock, I have read all of your Uninspired books from cover to cover, at least one time, and I have Discovered that you make a few Good Points that most Preachers and Teachers OVERLOOK: beCause of not STUDYING the Scriptures Carefully for themselves. Nevertheless, WHO among US has the TIME to Do such Studying? Therefore, I Sincerely Believe that you would be doing the People of the World a Great Favor with a Capital G and F, if you should Strain yourself to write a CONDENSED Swangkee Version of the Holy Bible, which leaves OUT about 90% of the NONSENSE within it! For Example, there is not one Person from here to Australia, who Sincerely Believes the Story of Noah and the Great Biblical Flood, even though they might Confess that even Scientists Agree that there WAS a Great Flood, a Long Time Ago; but, the Chances of Noah getting all of the Mammals in the whole World into his Ark, is Ridiculous with a Capital R! After all, Duckbill Platypuses, for Example, have a Nervous System that will not Allow them to be Transported without Special Care to Imitate their Natural Environment. Indeed, they and other Sensitive Animals could not have been Collected nor Transported to the Ark, even by the Holy Angels: beCause they Require Special Foods to Eat, and TONS of it. For Example, the Shrew Requires more Food than his own Body Weight, each Day, just to Survive, while Lions Require whole Animals, like Gazelles, just for Lunch! Therefore, Noah would have had to have had some 4,000 Boxcars full of Foods and Drinks, just for those Beasts to Eat and Drink for one full Year! Yes, a Cow, for Example, can Drink 50 Gallons of Water per Day, and the Bible says that there were 7 Males and 7 Female Cattle of each Kind, which Means that there were 47 of them altogether: beCause there are at least 7 Kinds of Cattle, if I can Remember Correctly — such as African Water Buffalos, American Bisons, Yaks, Musk Oxen, Lowland Anoas, Mountain Anoas, Bushbucks, Lesser Kudus, Tamaraws, Bantengs, Gaurs, Wisents, Saolas, Tragelaphuses, Bongos, Kudus, Wildebeests, Kewels, Mountain Nyalas, Marshbucks, Elands, Herefords, Anguses, Shrrlaaz, and Jerseys — not to mention those Cows with the BIG FAT Horns, the Long Horns, and the Short Horns! Therefore, it would have Required at least 1,000,000 Gallons of Water each Day, just to Water and Wash all of those Animals, after they Pooped all over the Inside of the Ark, which was VIOLENTLY TOSSED around on the Ocean of Forgetfulness, as you call it. Yes, it Required more Work than Poor Old Noah and his Family of 7 could Handle: beCause the Cows were Dunging on the Horses and Asses and Zebras, while the 14 Clean Giraffes were Dunging on the Elephants and Camels, who were Pissing on the 4,000 Species of Skunks, Porcupines, Raccoons, Opossums, Rabbits, Lizards, Skinks, and Snakes at their Feet. Moreover, there are at least a thousand Kinds of Clean Birds, who could have Eaten up a Trainload of Grains and Grasses each Week, while also Dunging on the Heads of Noah and his Family — except that the Bible specifically states that Noah made CAGES within the Ark for each Set of Birds, so as to Force himself and his Family to Feed and Water the Occupants of each Cage! Yes, just Imagine that? — the Chickens, Turkeys, Ducks, Geese, Swans, Pelicans, Hawks, Buzzards, Crows, Magpies, Ravens, Guineas, and Owls had to be Fed and Watered at least once per Day; and there are dozens of Species of each of them, such as those Ducks, which you can find Pictures of in any Good Encyclopedia. Furthermore, the Book of Mormon EXAGGERATES the Story of Noah even more, making it out that Jared and his Brother fetched entire Herds and Flocks of Animals to the Americas by Means of Wooden SUBMARINES, which were Equipped with Magic Lights that were made from Stones; and that such Submarines had 2 Holes in them for AIR, whereby if one should Roll Over, and Turn Upside Down, they could Unstop the above Hole, and let in Air to Breathe, while totally Disregarding all of that Chicken Manure, Cow Piss, and Flying Objects! Yes, anyone can read all about it in your New MAGNIFIED Version, which is by far the Funniest Book that I have ever read! Yes, the ye's and thou's really become quite Humorous, since they were not even Invented until the 1600's, A.D.! Therefore, to make a Long Story Shorter, I Conclude that all of ye People are Ignorant MORONS! Therefore, who else can be Elected, since ye are ALL MORONS?" Well, O Irreverent LOUDMOUTH Slothgut Windbag Hole-in-thy-Head, I must Confess that you make a few Good Points; but, you also leave Out Vital Facts — such as the Fact that all of those Animals in Noah's Ark were SLEEPING the entire Time, once they moved into it: beCause of the Rocking and Rolling Motion of the Ark, which Naturally put them to Sleep! Indeed, any Moron would know that. Furthermore, Noah had Flushing Toilets for all of those Animals, which Saved his Family much Hard Stinking Labor, Cleaning up after them. Yes, just Imagine a Cow passing out 50 Gallons of Water per Day, and not having a TOILET to Piss into!? Therefore, all of the Piss and Dung from all of the Animals was Drained into the Bottom of the Ark, where it was Neatly Composted for Noah's Vineyard, which he Planted after Writing the Story, which was a Bad Dream that he Suffered with during one Awful Night, after getting Chronic Indigestion from Eating Barbecued Sweet Potatoes, since no one Ate any Flesh of any Kind before Noah left the Ark, whereupon God Permitted Mankind to Eat Flesh from then onward, until the Holy Kingdom of the Supreme Ruler is Established on the Earth, when Mankind will once again become Civilized, and will Return to the Garden of Eden Diet, which consists of Fresh Raw Non-poisonous Ripe Sweet Fruits, Clean Green Leaves, and a few Clean Raw Nuts. After all, you have never known of a Rabbit making War against the Dogs and Cats: beCause the Rabbits are a Peaceable People, who Build their Houses under the Ground, who have no ElecTRICKERY Bills, no Insurance Bills, no Telephone Bills, no Doctor Bills, no Lawyer Bills, nor even Water Bills: beCause they are NOT Morons. Yes, they might be Ignorant, and a bit Crazy for having so many Babies; but, they are not Stupid! Therefore, we could Learn a few Things from the Good Examples that God gave to us to Study, such as those Rabbits and Squirrels, who have no Taxes nor Tax Masters.
Now, I Hear someone, who is like a Frog, croak: "O Peacock, I think that you should be Arrested by the Federal Burden of Investigation and by the Central Unintelligent Agencies, and Strip-searched for Hilariousogenic Drugs: beCause you could make a Frog CROAK! Even Jesus believed in Noah and the great flood, which was a True Story: because I was there! Yes, I was just a Tadpole at that Time in History; but, I was there, in Person, being one of those People who got Drowned, who was finally Reincarnated as a FROG! Yes, you Believe in the False Doctrine of Reincarnation, O Peacock; and therefore, you will not find it Difficult to Believe what I say." Well, O Frog, you are also just a Liar: beCause People do not become Frogs, nor do Frogs become People: beCause everything Produces Seeds According to its own Kind. Therefore, when Elijah was Reincarnated as John the Baptist, he was still a Man, not a Horse. [See: How many Times was Jesus Christ Reincarnated??] Nevertheless, there is Credibility in the Story of Noah and the Ark, if all Kinds of Miraculous Things Happened — such as all of the Animals SLEEPING for an entire Year, or thereabouts. However, the Bible specifically states that Noah brought Food into the Ark for all of the Animals to Eat. Therefore, they were NOT Sleeping! Indeed, with God, all things are Possible, including putting 4,000+ Boxcars of Food into the Ark! Therefore, it is as I have already Stated, that the "Holy Bible" is a MUTILATED Book, with many Missing Parts! And the Reason for all of that is to TEST our FAITH! However, in the Case of the Book of Mormon, it is a Test of our Common Sense! After all, if a Person does not have Common Horse Sense, how could he Qualify for any Position within the Government of GOD? Therefore, the Common Sense of all Latter-day Saints and Sinners is now in Question, and particularly that of Mitt Romney, who is the Self-proclaimed "Extreme Conservative" Presidential Candidate! Yes, one would just Naturally THINK that a Conservative "Christian" would at least have some Common Sense! And Common Sense tells us that no such Book-of-Mormon SUBMARINES could have Transported "flocks and herds" to the Americas during a Period of a whole Year! What Water did they all Drink? Moreover, if they spent whole Days under the Surface of the Ocean, how did they Survive the STINK that would have Accumulated within such simple Submarines, which were only "as long as trees"? Indeed, just one Family of Human Beings would find it very Difficult to Transport themselves in such a Submarine, even with Flushing Toilets, which Flush Upside Down when needed, without Attending to Bouncing Livestock, with "herds and flocks" to Attend to, which would Naturally be Multiplying by the hundreds! (Baa, Baahaahaaaa!) But, if anyone Doubts it, let them Prove it by using a Modern Submarine with all of its Mechanical and Technical Assistance, being Limited to the SIZE of a Tree! (Apparently none of those Flocks nor Herds survived the Trip, since the Animals in the "new world" are hardly anything like the Animals in the "old world," except for the Bisons. For Example, Llamas and Vicunas are not like Camels nor Giraffes, nor are American Bisons like African Buffalos, even if they can Breed with each other.)
Personally, it makes no Difference to me whether or not a Preacher or Teacher Believes all such Fairy Tales; but, when a Politician Believes such Exaggerated "Jewish Fables," as the Apostle Paul called them, it bothers me: beCause of Lacking Common Sense. Indeed, such a Person might also Decide to Drop Atomic Bombs on Iran, for Example, with the George Walking Bush Excuse that they MIGHT have their own Atomic Bomb, hidden under the Bed of Shitshak Rabeen, Meshak, Shadrak, and ToBedMeGo, or whomever gets Elected over there. After all, Americans are now Running Scared from the Shaking Leaves that Moses referred to in Deuteronomy 28 and Leviticus 26. Therefore, I have Departed from the Old Whore, who can now Legally Strip-search a Jaywalker for Weapons of Mass Destruction, or even someone who Sneezes without Covering his Mouth: because someone might Catch a Cold from it! And that is not to say that I Support Jaywalkers nor Uncovered Sneezers; but, it is to Suggest that the Real Criminals in Washington should be Arrested and Stripped of their Powers: beCause they have simply Lost their Horse Sense! After all, Horses are not going to Submit to the Federal LAW that Demands that they do not Hang Out their Tally Whackers, nor Piss in Public Places: beCause Politicians have yet to figure out HOW to Control all such Innocent Beasts. Otherwise, I am Sure that they would Fine those Horses thousands of Dollars for every Offensive Violation of their so-called "laws," which are not even Worthy to be Capitalized. Therefore, it is Highly Recommended that as many Voters as Possible should Ride their Cows, Mules and Asses to Washington, and at least make an Attempt to get those Politicians to Rethink Realities. Awe, but, O Peacock, no such Animals are Allowed within the City Limits of the District of Criminals! Indeed, who would Clean up the Cow Dung and Horse Piss? (The Brother of Jared!) Gardeners are not Presently Demanding any such Fertilizers. We use NPK, O Peacock. (And that would be NightTrogan, Potty Poop, and Phosphate / Fosfaat. And please do not ask me why they would use K for Phosphate; but, "educated" people have a tendency to do things like that, without Thinking about Mass CONFUSION. Perhaps they are Suffering with Chronic Constipation of the Mind!, or just Recovered from a Diarrhea of the Mind!??)
Now, I Hear someone, who is like a Polar Bear, growl: "O Peacock, it makes no Difference to me concerning WHO gets Elected to be the President of Rabbits, Skunks, Squirrels, Snakes, Sheeps, Goats, Cattle, HOGS, Walruses, nor Workhorses: because no one has ever Represented ME, let alone my Polarized Beliefs; but, I can Assure you that if any of those Lying Politicians get around me, I will Eat them for Lunch!" Well, O Polar Bear with the Bloody Long Claws and Vicious Teeth, I Understand how you Feel, since no one has ever Represented ME, neither; but, there is Hope that a Non-politician like ME might get Elected to be the Righteous KING, if People were to Understand how they could Truly Prosper and Live in Peace Under the Rulership of a RIGHTEOUS King! However, that Universal God-ordained Plan for GOOD Self-Government does not Fit into the Square Hole of DUMBmocracy, nor MOB Rulership and Capitalism, which never even got to Vote for whether or not Capitalists should Destroy the American Bisons, which Proclaims FREEDOMS of all Kinds, without even Realizing that Freedom from all SINS is the Beginning of Liberty! For Example, just Imagine how much Liberty there would be in this World of Woes, if everyone should Learn, Believe, Love, and OBEY the New MAGNIFIED Version of the Ten Commandments! Indeed, there would be no more Prisons, no more Wars, no more Sick Degenerated Children being Born, no more Hospitals full of Sick and Diseased People, no more Drugs, no more Taxes, and Certainly no more Need for Insurance to Cover anything: beCause of Doing what is RIGHT for ALL Peoples!
Now, I Hear someone, who is like a Drunken Duck, quack: "O Peacock, all of your Words could Drive a Person to Drinking: beCause it is Obvious that you are Technically Correct; but, it is also Obvious that not many People are going to be Interested in OBEYING anything, since they have Learned to HATE laws and rules, and 4-letter Words, like OBEY; and especially Federal Government laws and rules. Yes, that might Explain WHY 50% of them do not even bother to Pay any Federal Income Taxes at all, right now, nor even Vote for anyone: beCause they are 'Burned Out' on it all. Indeed, I have been Burned Out on it for many Years. However, the Weakness of your Philosophy is found in the Fact that there is no Way that we can Persuade ALL People to even READ your New Magnified Version of the Ten Commandments, let alone Love and Obey them! Therefore, it is a nice Dream, kind of like the Kingdom-of-God Dream in the Mind of Jesus Christ, who was supposed to have Returned with all Power and Glory some 2,000 or so Years AGO, saying that that Generation would not pass away until all of his Words were Fulfilled! (See Matthew 24, King James Version.) However, it is now High Time for him to Return, if he is going to: because we are on the Verge of a GREAT ATOMIC NIGHTMARE! Yes, Iran could Obtain Atomic Bombs, and even Hydrogen Bombs within a few Years, and Blast US Off of the Earth!" Well, O Duck, if I am Elected to be that Righteous King of the New Righteous One-World GovernMint, there will be no such Wars, nor any Atomic Nightmare. Therefore, you would be Wise to Discuss all of these Important Things with your Friends, Relatives and Neighbors, even within Bar Rooms: beCause Great Things are brought about by Small Means, as it is Written. [See: The Great Worldwide TELEVISED Court Hearing!] Yes, "little people" like US can get a Great Forest Fire of Truth Burning, if we Want to; and it is now Time to Want to: beCause all of the Truths that I Teach are Provable by Means of Reason and Logic, and According to the Scriptures — Mutilated or not. [See: Why Vote for One of 2 or 3 WRong Political Parties??] Have Faith: because you will Enjoy it! Guaranteed! (This is about the 20th Time that I have read this Blog for the Fun of it, and it gets Better each Time! Indeed, I Greatly Pity the People who have Failed to read it even one Time: because of Wasting their Precious Time with Political Nonsense, such as Campaigning and Voting for one of 2 or 3 or more WRong Political Parties, who have no Reasonable Solutions for anything that J. Edgar Whoever might Remember from his Files!)
The King of the Birds has Spoken!
Now it is Time for you to tell your Friends, Relatives, and Neighbors about this Website, and specifically about this Blog. Otherwise, they are unlikely to Discover it! Cheers!